Alter Egos.
I was actually greatly inspired by Michelle Phan's makeup video on her alter ego. And just a few days back, I was suddenly overcame with this great need to dye my hair in all sorts of colours (namely pastel blue, pink and purple). I guess it was initially just the desire to do something cool, and come on, colourful hair is nice;)
And then it grew into a need, because I felt that my life was just too.....normal? Hm I'm not sure if that's the right word to explain it. How about....common? Or perhaps you can say I've been doing what a first-world society expects of a child nowadays. That is to get good grades, get a good degree, get a good career. No, I have only reached the "get good grades" stage, but all the conformity is driving me crazy. And thus my sudden need to dye my hair crazily. Even though I know how bad bleach is....sighs....
Maybe that's why I suddenly came to this idea that in order to not become rebellious, we should occasionally be rebellious. Ok, before anyone gets confused, I mean to do things out of the norm once in a while so that you don't get driven to the extreme and end up taking a path of no return. And that's something I realised I have always been doing.
When I was still a kid, like literally a kid, below 10 years old, I actually stole before. Thank god I just stole from my mom's shop though, nothing serious. It was more of me being upset with her refusing to buy me whiteboard markers. And since she happened to sell whiteboard markers in her shop, I just took it and pretended like it appeared at home all of a sudden. Yeah, I know, awesome stealing skills. Obviously I got into SO MUCH trouble for that. It was lectures one after another, from the father down to my relatives, adding in some caning as seasoning.
And then when I went into my teenage years, I decided that the stress of having to do well academically and on my portfolio was too much to take. But instead of going into drugs or bad influences, I punched the wall! And broke my hand........and ended up in a cast for a month...... I wouldn't recommend this method of rebellion to anyone by the way, it hurt physically, it hurt my pocket (ER fees aren't cheap) and it hurt my portfolio (I couldn't take part in SYF cos I couldn't play my violin)
Now, finally, being liberated of A levels, I needed one more act of defiance. Uh...okay....maybe dyeing my hair is not exactly defying anything, I mean, my parents are perfectly fine with that. But I guess what I wanted to do was just something different. Something bold. I think I might just dress up like a goth one day after dyeing my hair:D (I genuinely think that goths are real cool k, no negative connotation in my words)
And so to end this post off, for those who can't seem to stand life and feel like deviating from the socially approved path, maybe you can try small acts of rebellion to try to appease your restricted heart and soul. If it isn't enough, then deviate a little! Just don't go so far in that you can't come back out. Drugs and illegal acts aren't the only ways to rebel against your parents. Be a little unique, challenge rules and regulations, challenge the way things are done. It could be little things like arguing with your chairperson. Or you could be the next historical figure by coming up with a new concept or idea.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Saturday, April 2, 2016
I DID IT!!!! (kinda...?)
So before my last paper which was H2 Chem paper 1(MCQ), I wrote a post on Managing A levels , and in there I shared about my own experience and provided info on my own performance for you guys to have a rough gauge. Actually, it is mainly targeted at students, who like me, have always been a "there but not quite there" student, i.e. the average student. We don't perform badly, but our results are nothing to boast of as well.
And so, I got my results on Friday...and........
Well the title kinda gave it away already right? I obviously must have done not bad, or maybe even well. So yeah, I got 6As and 1B, taking 4 H2s.
I was honestly just relieved when I first got to know my results. In fact, I didn't join the rest of the cohort in receiving my results. Yeah, call me a coward, but you would probably understand if you knew how it works in my school.
So everybody will gather at the hall, and at the time for official release, the principal will announce how the school did overall, moving on to the various subjects, comparing the A rate within the school and to national. After that, they will call out the names of all who got 6As and above. Ok, so imagine if you were one of those who did not get 6 As or above. You don't know how you did. 5 or 4 As would still be okay, even 3. But 2 and below? I don't know about you but I would start getting worried. And it's precisely this uncertainty that I wanted to avoid. The unknown of what you got ould be enough to drive anyone nuts.
And so I deliberately applied for only a half-day leave from my internship, and even joined my team at Paypal for a lunch treat by the senior manager(come on who will wanna miss a free treat??) which resulted in my only leaving at 2. And then even when my parents came to fetch me and we reached the school, I had to scream(I know, it's rude) at my father to not alight me just yet.
I was very scared. Really. All I could think about was holding my result slip and not being able to find the highly coveted letter 'A'. And it was made worse when I saw my fellow schoolmates who have already taken their results and were lounging or crying by the corridors. In the end I was thinking I should just wait till most of the people have left.
My friend went for the whole process though, and she was the one who texted me to let me know I got 6As. Before that I was sitting in the car at my school's parking area, refusing to go up.
Naturally, I was happy and relieved. I didn't have to change any plans, I could go forward as planned. That is applying for Accountancy, the various programmes, and even going for law. At the same time I am eligible for several scholarships, so its really no harm trying.
And I walked into the hall with my head held high. I still remember the smirk on my face when my teacher ask my mom how her daughter did. My mom proudly said 6As, and he was all "wow that's really good, who is she?" And lo and behold its me.
I am not happy because I did better than others. I am happy because I proved them wrong, once again, just like how I proved my teachers and friends wrong in PSLE.
As a "there but not quite there" student, we are often the neglected bunch. Teachers know we will do well enough to survive, and so they don't care about us. They also think that we aren't that amazing anyway, so they don't need to care about us.
And so comes the insane satisfaction of slapping them in their faces with your result slip.
Perhaps it's just my frustration and dissatisfaction with the highly elitist society.
But.....(this may be offensive to those who didn't do as well) I started doubting how well I actually did. In other words, in my mind, I was thinking: is 6As really that good?
This isn't just me aiming for more since I got something good already. But really, its because the cohort has been doing better and better at every A level examination. 6As is no longer that big a thing. In fact, I believe at least 10% of the cohort for 2015 got 6As and above.
Regardless of how I did compared to the entire cohort, 6As was my original goal, and I got it. It is a cause for celebration, no matter what.
Honestly, who cares how you've been performing all the while from sec 1 till O levels till Prelims. As long as you can get the As in A levels, that's all that matters.
I was honestly just relieved when I first got to know my results. In fact, I didn't join the rest of the cohort in receiving my results. Yeah, call me a coward, but you would probably understand if you knew how it works in my school.
So everybody will gather at the hall, and at the time for official release, the principal will announce how the school did overall, moving on to the various subjects, comparing the A rate within the school and to national. After that, they will call out the names of all who got 6As and above. Ok, so imagine if you were one of those who did not get 6 As or above. You don't know how you did. 5 or 4 As would still be okay, even 3. But 2 and below? I don't know about you but I would start getting worried. And it's precisely this uncertainty that I wanted to avoid. The unknown of what you got ould be enough to drive anyone nuts.
And so I deliberately applied for only a half-day leave from my internship, and even joined my team at Paypal for a lunch treat by the senior manager(come on who will wanna miss a free treat??) which resulted in my only leaving at 2. And then even when my parents came to fetch me and we reached the school, I had to scream(I know, it's rude) at my father to not alight me just yet.
I was very scared. Really. All I could think about was holding my result slip and not being able to find the highly coveted letter 'A'. And it was made worse when I saw my fellow schoolmates who have already taken their results and were lounging or crying by the corridors. In the end I was thinking I should just wait till most of the people have left.
My friend went for the whole process though, and she was the one who texted me to let me know I got 6As. Before that I was sitting in the car at my school's parking area, refusing to go up.
Naturally, I was happy and relieved. I didn't have to change any plans, I could go forward as planned. That is applying for Accountancy, the various programmes, and even going for law. At the same time I am eligible for several scholarships, so its really no harm trying.
And I walked into the hall with my head held high. I still remember the smirk on my face when my teacher ask my mom how her daughter did. My mom proudly said 6As, and he was all "wow that's really good, who is she?" And lo and behold its me.
I am not happy because I did better than others. I am happy because I proved them wrong, once again, just like how I proved my teachers and friends wrong in PSLE.
As a "there but not quite there" student, we are often the neglected bunch. Teachers know we will do well enough to survive, and so they don't care about us. They also think that we aren't that amazing anyway, so they don't need to care about us.
And so comes the insane satisfaction of slapping them in their faces with your result slip.
Perhaps it's just my frustration and dissatisfaction with the highly elitist society.
But.....(this may be offensive to those who didn't do as well) I started doubting how well I actually did. In other words, in my mind, I was thinking: is 6As really that good?
This isn't just me aiming for more since I got something good already. But really, its because the cohort has been doing better and better at every A level examination. 6As is no longer that big a thing. In fact, I believe at least 10% of the cohort for 2015 got 6As and above.
Regardless of how I did compared to the entire cohort, 6As was my original goal, and I got it. It is a cause for celebration, no matter what.
Honestly, who cares how you've been performing all the while from sec 1 till O levels till Prelims. As long as you can get the As in A levels, that's all that matters.
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